On some days, I come home from college only to lie down and start thinking of some of the dumb shit I've said and done when I've tried to socialize. Like most teenagers I relax on my bed, staring coldly at the empty, white ceiling and beating myself up for being a socially awkward girl with no talents whatsoever. It's kinda almost a daily routine of mine. Sometimes I even pretend to mime shooting my brains out.

I know, it sounds cynical. But to be honest, as I'm maturing and as I'm learning more and more about how fucked up our society is, I've learned that almost all teenagers also go through this painful process. Some of this I've learned from watching coming-of-age films (such as The Edge of Seventeen), and reading articles that precisely explain the growing pains of adolescence - the self-deprecation, the feelings of anxiety and fear and the confusion of our future, and what our purposes in life are.

If you're in the same situation, going through the same rollercoaster, and often reckless, journey of adolescence, then don't worry - you're not alone and this is just what parents call "a phase".

Luckily for me, I have an edgy and big-hearted best friend who gifted this guide to life:


the way of f**k it - small book, big wisdom

I decided that in my days where I feel melancholic, sluggish or lethargic, I would open up this book, read a couple of pages which gives me a little hope to a more happier and positive tomorrow.

My parents, being the traditional and conservative type of parents, have always taught me to always be mindful of how you portray yourself to others. Because of this they, as well as myself and my siblings, have lived in fear of people's judgement - resulting in me gaining insecurities about myself.

But with books like this holy grail, as well as open-minded and understanding friends and the power of social media movements, I'm slowly overcoming those fears and insecurities that have been accumulated since childhood.




Shoutout to Vera for giving me this star that lights up the darkness I sometimes get lost in.

You can buy this small book with big wisdom on amazon.

Got any other spirit-boosting book recommendations? Comment some below!

nicole ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆

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